March Asides

Very often for me, the idea of a ship moving through the waters of time comes to mind as a way to talk about presence in the world. It works in this instance once more, as I reach into my felt sensing, provoking thoughts about our influence on the world in this month in which I have found these waters choppy with the sudden absence of Jess Curtis, and of course, Steve Paxton. Steve not merely marked my living but was formative of the life choices, values and cares that have guided this path I'm on. His absence bathes me in surges of motion on many levels of being, which is surprising, given that I actually didn't connect with him that often.

What has come to mind and heart as waves of time rush to fill the gaps left in my sea by these two valuable presences, is how important it is for us to notice the wake our own presence leaves in this shared sea, as we move forward through our days. Can we be present with what we leave behind, with the ways we move the waters of time, and with our influence on this world? As you know, I define presence as a disturbance. To say this, is to remark that in my world, everything is disturbed by the presence of everything – we are entangled. Even the tree outside my window is disturbed by me and so I try to note this exchange, as I too am touched by it. This is to say that our being alters things in ways our not-being never would, and to notice these changes as we move through our lives is to be able to feel our presence within another’s experience and to care about that. Am I bringing value to this moment, or am I moving carelessly? We have all done careless. I have been careless more times than I wish to admit. We have all been self-absorbed. But the practice of caring for all that remains in the room I just left, the dance I just had, and the words I just spoke is part and parcel of me noticing where I am going and how. What does my passage in this moment reap? What values remain? I am blessed with people in my life who care about these things.